OAKLAND, Calif. — A fed­eral jury on Thursday ruled against Elon Musk in his law­suit ac­cus­ing OpenAI and CEO Sam Altman of be­tray­ing the com­pa­ny’s orig­i­nal non­profit mis­sion, unan­i­mously find­ing af­ter less than two hours of de­lib­er­a­tion that Musk had sim­ply waited too long to save hu­man­ity, hav­ing spent the rel­e­vant years fo­cus­ing his band­width to­ward emer­gency dis­course about whether Disney princesses and Greek Spartans were be­ing cast with suf­fi­cient ho­mo­gene­ity.

The ver­dict gave the pub­lic the plea­sure of watch­ing Musk lose, but stopped well short of the full-body re­lease many had been count­ing on by al­low­ing Altman to leave the court­room as the win­ner. After months of an­tic­i­pa­tion, the na­tion was es­sen­tially edged by a law­suit be­tween two of the tech in­dus­try’s least lik­able men and forced to fin­ish at home with its usual stash of Martin Shkreli sen­tenc­ing clips saved in a hid­den folder on their home com­put­ers.